Everyone thinks that I am scared

Everyone thinks that I am scared. Some think I am scared of lizards, some say I am scared of heights and yet some think that I am scared of ghosts. However no one knows what I am exactly scared of! I think fear is an element that has found its permanent abode in our minds in one or the other form. Everyone is scared, yes that is correct and it may differ from person to person. It could be the fear of losing a job, heartbreak or even death. So it is evident that people are scared of something or the other and I am no exception to the rule.

Coming back to what I am scared of, I would say I am scared of loneliness. Yes that is what I am scared of in reality. I always have been lonely ever since my childhood days. I remember playing all alone on my own and longing for a sibling who could be a companion to me. My parents introduced my sister me when I was 8. It was too late by then as I was so much used to my loneliness that I started taking rejoice in my solitude.

In relation to this solitary state of my mind, I must add that due to my father’s transferable nature of job, I had to change my schools almost every year. I have read in some 13 educational institutions by now, which has never given me the opportunity to stick to one particular set of friends. Anyways most of classmates had their own sets of friends and they seldom liked talking to a newcomer. I was looked at like a foreigner who looked, dressed and spoke like them, but could never become one of them. It happened that I never knew what friendship meant, until I met this girl at my university. We had a special bond for 6 long years. Unfortunately for this friendship gave in to misunderstandings that still remain unresolved.

Misunderstanding is something I am truly scared of as it always has been an ominous contrivance of my life. Be it my father, a dear friend or even my boss at work all of them fail to understand what and why I say. They will shout out at me, hang up on me and leave me forever but will not try and see the reason through as for why I did something or in the very first place did I do that or not! Such is my fate and I am scared of this hideous monster that is like a true friend to me that I don’t want.

Another thing that I am scared of is someone breaking my trust. A lot have as they never thought of keeping it. I was naïve and did not see through their intention as I trust people easily. I believe that I will trust people as it is not my mistake of trusting the wrong kind, but it is them who are to be blamed for playing with others. People make mistakes and I have no complaints against those who have broken my trust and hurt me over and over.

I am scared of losing a loved one because I have lost many. I am scared of not being able to see them every day and miss them regularly. I cannot any more, I think I am tired and it would have been better to get rid of this fear. I know that I have to get over my fears and move on in life as it goes on and for the good of others I have to live it by making it worth.