What are the ingredients of a successful marriage?

Have you ever wondered about what are the ingredients of a successful marriage? Well if you have not till now, would it too much to ask you to think about it? I don’t’ think there is any harm in discussing that as nowadays we are so much engrossed with stories of broken marriages that we would like to hear some positive features that can make a marriage tick. A few of us may want to know the secret recipe that can make a marriage survive all the ills of time that tests our stability.

This article revolves around the possibilities of how can you make a marriage in a creative way. In fact there is nothing called a secret ingredient that can make a marriage work. The ingredient rests in your own hands which is more about situation handling and moving on with your better half. Here are a few ways by which you can make the difference according to me. It is not important that you have to agree with me, but in my short span of 2 years of conjugal life I have learnt these few things that are discussed as follows.

For that the first thing you need to do is to put in all your efforts to make your partner believe in the bond that you two have made. Yes marriage is a bond between to individuals that should be well understood and then invested in with care. In order to make your partner believe in this, you need to have faith in more than anyone else. Remember this is a subtle fact that cannot be expressed through words but by behavior.

We have been taught that the institution of marriage is a social contract between two people. Have you ever thought about this discourse from any other perspective? Okay the truth I have and I found a meaning that is completely different from what we think of it. This social contract to me indicates a connection that can be termed as friendship. Now you may agree with me as this simplification can add a brand new definition to the institution of marriage. To make things simple I would like mention here that companionship should be base of marriage. This can solve many a problem if two people can understand each other like friends.

In relation to this it needs to be stated that you can communicate with your partner freely like a friend that can bring a change without any doubts. Treat your partner like a friend and things will become easier. Nevertheless do not forget that you need to know your boundaries while doing so. This means respect your spouse like a friend but maintain a line of respect as he or she is your better.

Setting these restrictions symbolize that you are ready to give them the required space as well. This is very important which comes next to communication. Both these aspects can come to you naturally if and only if you think your cohort to be a friend more than a life partner. Along with this a dash of love more than they need and a sprinkle of sex more than they can take can a super ingredient for a successful marriage for sure.

….And they lived happily ever after

All fairy tales end with this phrase “….and they lived happily ever after” which gets into the head of a young girl and she also wants her prince charming who she thinks will sweep her off the feet and take her away. Away from the world and where they will make a world of their own to “live happily ever after”. Yes we all grew up like that trust me. I also wanted my prince charming to find his way to me and save me from anything…er…at least I could have enacted like a damsel in distress. Thinking of such things, reading a lot of Jane Austen (we have nothing to do with the Duchess of Cambridge as of now) and those romantic stories we grow up from being little girls to ladies. The transition is remarkable but one thing that remains unchanged in all of us is the hunt for that prince charming.

What we do not realize is that the world is no place for a fairytale. It is a practical world where we have to fight it out every day and earn our living. The journey from a daddy’s girl to playing a mother to your own little angel actually starts to delete these fantasies one by one from our memories. Nonetheless call it irony of fate or whatever you like by the time you realize that these are just wild imaginations of the mind, you start narrating these stories to your little who again starts to believe it. Is this just a vicious cycle that we all tend to fall in?

Well it could be explained in this way that these tales are just a way to stimulate a desire in you. This desire will help you to achieve new heights that you could not have anticipated. For example I still want to build a house of sweets like the witch in Hansel and Gretel did! That is to say this will build a hope that will help you learn and grow. This will get you going in life. I am not asking everyone to agree with me, but that is how I have interpreted it. This is because I have a habit of detecting positives out of the worst things in life. Am not saying this is a bad idea, but am only trying to see through this tradition of carrying tales.

I have another premise which is completely different than this. That would be something like this that since the stories of Cinderella, Snow White and Sleeping Beauty end on this note of “living happily ever after,” I in particular would like to know what happened to them after their marriage. They were busy running their household, went to grocery shopping, supervised their house staffs and fought with their husbands for insignificant things. This is what I have deduced that once the prince charming becomes the husband, he no longer remains to be the same. A time comes when we find that life itself has lost its charm again because something has changed. This can be elucidated like this that the meaning of life changes as time passes. Our needs get altered with time and so does our taste. Hence once when the likes of Cinderella, Snow White and Sleeping Beauty fell into the same pit, am sure their stories were no more as captivating as their enchanted fables.

So it would have been boring for the little girl too as she would not be interested in such a story. If she were told about the reality of life at that tender age, then there are high chances that she would surely develop some kind of phobia and lose interest in it. This can further be explained like this that a doctor prescribes you a certain dosage of medication regularly to recover from an illness. It is like a procedure that gives you an inner strength to fight off the ills and get well soon. Similarly we need to understand the complications of life slowly and steadily. An overdose of it can be dangerous at the wrong time for sure. This is probably why it is better to know real things when you have attained the age to handle them to live “happily ever after.”